Bed snake bat

This little jewel is a 12-inch long wooden baseball bat with a small tether so it can’t be dropped. This was something we received, excuse me, my wife received as a wedding gift. In some countries, this is an acceptable form of birth control. Go figure. It was “lost” for the longest time and then somehow “magically” reappeared about the same time that I started needing to wear condom catheters to manage fluid output. I think my wife, knowing that someone else was going to be touching Mr. Happy, thought Mrs. Bat should make a return engagement to assure there was proper behavior.


My caregiver had the biggest giggle about this and threatens me regularly, regardless of the infraction, saying “don’t make me get the bat.”